thieves driving big trucks
Points:
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IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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The last four lines are...lyrical, I guess, with the repetition of "no time" and the stolen/broken slant rhyme.
This is overdone. It's lovely alliteration but I don't think that "dramatic" is the appropriate adjective, although I really shouldn't talk because I tend to do that a lot.
This is my other diction tidbit. I think of splashing as a noise or action that occurs when something is dropped or falls or is poured into water, and the resulting bits of water that end up on everything around it. If that made any sense, then splashing wouldn't really be right...it bothers me. "Spurting" or something else that blood can do would be better. Blood does not splash out of one's body. If you cut arteries it spurts. If you cut veins it just kind of oozes. But then, "oozing all the way to the moon" would be even more bizarre.
And another thing, are cows slaughtered with machetes? Or is that meant to be figurative? Machete is a marvelous word, though.
I like this poem. It made me want to find out what callaloo is.
Wow.
I believe.
The dust bowl
=)
Dont.know.if.im.right?!
This was a hard poem to digest, and the line breaks were odd in my opinion. Good job though